•THE DESIRE OF EVERY YOUNG MAN OR A WOMAN INTENDING TO MARRY IS TO HAVE A HAPPY AND FULFILLING MARRIAGE AND FAMILY. THE ONLY TROUBLE IS THAT WE AS HUMAN BEINGS LOOK FOR THAT HAPPINESS AND FULFILMENT OUTSIDE GOD’S WORD. THE RESULT IS FRUSTRATIONS AND DISAPPOINENT
•THE BIBLE GIVES US SIX MAIN PILLARS THAT EACH MARRIAGE SHOULD BE BUILT ON IN ORDER TO BE SUCCESSFUL. THESE ARE FOUND IN GEN 2:24 AND MAT 19:5-6. WHAT ARE THEY?
Ø1. ONE MAN TO ONE WIFE
Ø2. A MALE TO FEMALE RELATIONSHIP
Ø3. DISCONNECTION FROM THEIR PARENTS
Ø4. BOTH THE SPOUSES CLEAVING TO EACH OTHER
Ø5 THE TWO BECOME ONE FLESH
Ø6. A PERMANENT [LIFE LONG] RELATIONSHIP
•PILLAR 1.
•ONE MAN TO ONE WIFE
GOD CREATED ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN. HE KNEW THE TWO WOULD MAKE A PERFECT UNION TO MAKE A GOOD FAMILY. ACCORDING TO GOD, ONE MAN IS ENOUGH FOR ONE WOMAN AND ONE WOMAN IS EQUALLY ENOUGH FOR ONE MAN
•BUT SIN BROUGHT PERVERSIONS TO MARRIAGE INSTITUTION. MEN BEGUN MARRYING MORE THAN ONE WIFE DUE TO LUST. THE FIRST MAN TO MARRY MORE THAN ONE WIFE WAS LAMECH WHO ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE WAS A REBELLIOUS PERSON. GEN 4:19, 23..
FROM THERE ONWARDS, MEN CONTINUED TAKING MANY WIVES. ESAUL HAD 3, [GEN 26:34-5, 28:9], JACOB HAD FOUR, [GEN 29:15-30:12]. DAVID HAD MANY WIVES AND CONCUBINES,[ 2SAM5:13-16]. SOLOMON HAD 700 OFFICIAL WIVES AND 300 CONCUBINES, [1KINGS 11:3.] THE LIST IS LONG
•ACCORDING TO THE WORD OF THE LORD, [ IN BOTH THE OLD AND THE NEW TESTAMENTS], GOD PROHIBITS HIS PEOPLE FROM MARRYING MANY WIVES. EVEN KINGS WERE NOT PERMITTED TO MARRY MORE THAN ONE WIFE. DEUTR 17:17, MAT 19:5-6, 1TIM 3:2, TITUS 1:6
•WHY IS IT WRONG TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE WIFE AT THE SAME TIME?
•1. IT IS AGAINST GOD’S PRINCIPLE AND PLAN OF ONE MAN TO ONE WIFE, [GEN 1:27,2:24,MT 19:4-6]
•2 NO MAN IS ABLE TO LOVE MORE THAN ONE WIFE EQUALLY AND FAIRLY AT THE SAME TIME. [EXO 21:10]
•3. POLYGAMOUS MARRIAGES ARE ALWAYS FULL OF STRIFE, COMMOTIONS AND SOMETIMES MURDERINGS.[ GEN 21:8-14,30:1-10, 1SAM 1:1-6, 2SAM 13:1-32.
•THE FATHER CANNOT TREAT CHILDREN FROM ALL WIVES EQUALY. SO THERE WILL BE SUSPICIONS, FIGHTS AND SOMETIMES KILLINGS AS IN THE CASE OF JACOB AND HIS FAMILY[FOUR WIVES AND 13 CHILDREN]
•THE MAN CANNOT MINISTER FAITHFULLY TO ALL HIS WIVES IN MATTERS OF PHYSICAL [SEXUAL] RELATIONSHIP AS THE BIBLE COMMANDS EXOD 21:10
•IN THIS AGE OF HIV/AIDS, POLYGAMOUS MARRIAGES MAY CAUSE MORE DEATHS IF ONE OF THE WIVES OR THE HUSBAND BECOMES UNFAITHFUL AND CONTRACTS THE DISEASE.
•BUT WHY DO MEN MARRY MANY WIVES?
•IMMORALITY AND/OR LUST IN MEN, NEVER SATISFIED WITH ONE WIFE
•CHILDLESSNE-SS WITH THE FIRST WIFE
•LACK OF MALE CHILDREN WITH THE FIRST WIFE
•A PROBLEMATIC WIFE WHO TROUBLES THE HUSBAND ALWAYS.
•SOME OF OUR CULTURES THAT SHOW THAT THE MORE WIVES ONE HAS THE MORE RESPECTABLE THE PERSON IS.
•THE FIRST WIFE BECOMING SICK AND THUS NOT ABLE TO MINISTER TO THE MAN SEXUALLY.
ECONIMIC PRESSURE. THE FIRST WIFE IS ILLITERATE AND HAS NO ANY MEANS OF SUPPORTING THE FAMILY FINACIALLY. THE MAN GETS A MORE EDUCATED WOMAN WHO IS EMPLOYED
•PILLAR TWO MALE TO FEMALE RELATIONSHIP
•BIBLICAL MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN, MALE TO A FEMALE. BUT SIN BROUGHT OTHER IDEAS, THAT AMAN CAN MARRY ANOTHER MAN AND A WOMAN CAN MARRY ONTHER WOMAN. GOD HAS STRONGLY CONDEMNED SUCH MARRIAGES. LEV 18:22, 20:13, ROM 1:26-27. AFTER ALL THEY ARE NOT MARRIAGES AT ALL BUT ITS PERVERSION.
•EVEN THE SIMPLEST CLASS OF ANIMALS SUCH AS LICE, FLEAS OMENA AND FLIES DO NOT MATE MALE TO A MALE. THE ANIMALS WE DESPISE, THE DOGS, THE PIGS, THE LIZARDS AND NAME THE REST……… ……..DO NOT MARY A MALE TO A MALE OR A FEMALE TO A FEMALE.
•THIS WAS THE SIN OF SODOM AND GOMORA WHICH LED THE TWO CITIES TO BE BURNT TO ASHES BY THE LORD. GEN 19:5, 24-28.
•TODAY THER’E PEOPLE , EVEN HERE IN KENYA WHO ARE ADVOCATING FOR ONE GENDER MARRIAGES. MARRIAGE BETWEEN A MAN TO MAN IS SODOMY AND A WOMAN TO A WOMAN IS LESBIANISM, BOTH OF THEM IS HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGE. THIS IS A TERRIBLE SIN AGAINST GOD AND WE AS GOD’S PEOPLE MUST REJECT IT. IN FACT IT IS CALLED AN ABOMINATION. LEVI 18:22
PILLAR 3
BOTH TO LEAVE PARENTS.
•THE BIBLE ASKS THE MAN TO LEAVE PARENTS TO BE UNITED TO HIS WIFE. MT 19:5. BUT IN MANY CULTURES AND CUSTOMS, IT IS THE WIFE WHO LEAVES HER PARENTS TO JOIN THE HUSBAND. SO I USUALLY TEACH THAT BOTH THE SPOUSES SHOULD LEAVE THEIR PARENTS. WHAT DOES LEAVING PARENTS MEAN?
NEGATIVELY IT DOES NOT MEAN
Ø1. TO DISRESPECT THEM
ØTO DISOWN THEM
Ø TO WITHDRAW YOUR SUPPORT AND CARE TO THEM
•POSITIVELY IT MEANS:
Ø1. NEVER ALLOWING PARENTS TO CONTINUE RULING OVER YOU
ØSTOP BEING DEPENDENT ON THEM ALWAYS
ØNOT ALLOWING THEM TO MANAGE YOUR FAMILY AND MARRIAGE AFFAIRS. NOT LITERALLY TAKING ALL ADVISES FROM THEM ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE AND FAMILY MATTERS
I HAVE FOUND THAT MANY MARRIAGES[ HERE IN KENYA] ARE EITHER INTERFERED WITH, DAMANGED OR TOTALLY BROKEN BY EITHER THE PARENTS, OR RELATIVES FROM EITHER SIDE OF THE SPOUSES. THIS COMMAND IS VERY RELEVANT TO US
•PILLAR 4. THE TWO TO CLEAVE TO EACH OTHER.
•CLEAVING MEANS TO ATTACH TO, TO BE JOINED TO, TO BE FIXED TO, TO BE GLUEED TO THE PARTNER.
•IN MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP, BOTH THE SPOUSES AGREE TO SEPARATE FROM PARENTS AND ACCEPT EACH OTHER AS THE ALTERNATIVE. SO THEY MUST BE JOINED TO EACH OTHER IN A WAY THAT NO ONE AND NOTHING SHOULD SEPARATE THEM [INCLUDING PARENTS, THE JOB OR THE CHURCH].
•MANY MARRIAGES EXPERIENCE MARITAL UNFAITHFULNESS WHEN THIS ISSUE OF CLEAVING TO EACH OTHER IS NOT ADHERED TO. MANY MEN EXCUSE THEIR LONG TERM SEPERATION WITH THEIR SPOUSES TO JOB. EITHER THIS IS SO OR NOT, THERE ARE HEAVY CONSEQUENSES TO GET OUT OF THIS LONG SEPERATION.
•PILLAR 5.
•THE TWO TO BECOME ONE FLESH
•BECOMING ONE FLESH TALKS OF MANY THINGS BUT MAINLY:
•PLANNING YOUR FAMILY AFFAIRS AND MATTER TOGETHER
•HANDLING AND TACKLING YOUR DOMESTIC CHALLENGES AS A TEAM WITHOUT ONE FIGHTING THE OTHER.
•PLANNING, EXECUTING AND EVALUATING YOUR FAMILY PROGRAMES AND PROJECTS AS A TEAM
•HAVING NO SECRETS WHATSOEVER THAT THE OTHER SPOUSE DOES NOT KNOW. THIS INCLUDES ALL YOUR FINANCES, INVESTMENTS, PLANS, FRIENDS,[ MOSTLY OF THE OPPOSITE SEX]. YOUR CELL PHONE SHOULD BE AVAILABLE ANY TIME TO YOUR SOUSE, WHO SHOULD RECEIVE ALL CALLS AND SMSes ON YOUR BEHALF IF NEED BE. ONE SURE SIGN OF UNFAITHFUL SPOUSE IS THE WAY HE/SHE HANDLES HIS/HER CELL PHONE IN RELATIONSHIP TO THE SPOUSE.
•RELATIN G TO EACH OTHER IN MATTERS OF PHYSICAL UNION FAITHFULLY, WITH NO ONE GOING OUT OF THEIR LOVE BOUNDARIES TO ANOTHER, AND NO ONE DENYING THE OTHER ONE HIS/HER SEXUAL RIGHTS WITHOUT CLEAR AND UNDERSTOOD REASON[s]. FORCING THE OTHER PARTNER INTO SEXUAL ACT IS ALSO UNFAITHFULNESS AND IT CANNOT BRING ONENESS.
PILLAR 6.
THEIR UNION IS FOR LIFE
•BIBLICAL MARRIAGE IS TILL DEATH SEPERATES. NO DIVORCE FOR GOD LOVING PEOPLE. THERE CAN BE SEPERATION FOR A TIME DUE TO SOME SERIOUS ISSUES, BUT NONE OF THE SPOUSES SHOULD HAVE ANOTHER PERSON WHEN THE PARTNER IS ALIVE. THAT IS WHY THE BIBLE TELLS THEM TO BE RECONCILED TO EACH OTHER. 1CORIN 7:10-11.
•THERE IS NOTHING THAT SHOULD SEPARATE A HUSBAND FROM THE WIFE AND VISE VERSA, NOT POVERTY, NOT LACK OF CHILDREM, NO ANY OTHER THING EXCEPT MARITAL UNFAITHFULNESS. MAT 19:9.
•BUT THERE IS ALSO WHAT WE CALL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. MARRIAGE IS A UNION OF TWO EQUAL PARTNERS, WITH EQUAL RIGHTS AND DIGNITY. BUT IF THE HUSBAND OR THE WIFE ABUSES THE OTHER, THEN THE COVENANT OF LOVE, TO HAVE AND TO HOLD IN ALL SITUATIONS
OF LIFE NO LONGER HOLDS VALUE.
•DOES GOD CALL WOMEN TO REMAIN IN AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE, WHERE THEY ARE BEATEN ,BATTERED, PLOWED AND TREATED AS SLAVES? REMEMBER THE WIFE SHOULD OBEY HER HUSBAND IN ALL THINGS, WHEN THE SAME MAN LOVES HER SACRIFICIALLY, EVEN AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH. THAT IS A LIFE LONG MARRIAGE.
IF WE FOLLOW THE ABOVE SIX POINTS, WE SHALL HAVE GOOD MARRIAGES. MAY THE LORD BLESS OUR MARRIAGES. AMEN
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